One of the catching-on posts on Facebook this week is a collection of your most-used words on status updates. Out of curiosity, I played along.

And I wasn’t happy with it.
In fact, I decided not to share it.
The main word, front and center? “Just.” Blah.

As a writer, this offends me. Good writers know not to use this word, except, perhaps on rare occasions. And here I am, using it more than any other. Ugh. I re-took the test several times, hoping something else would jump out as my numero uno word, to no avail. Adding grief to annoyance, the words “God” and “Jesus” were nowhere to be seen.

But “just” couldn’t be unseen.

Fortunately, I soon realized this word doesn’t define me. It says very little about who I am. And that reminded me of this post from the early days of Girls Night In, so I thought I would take this opportunity to share it again:


Have you been taking those “Who Are You?” quizzes on Facebook? I have. And over the last few weeks, I’ve discovered I’m a perpetually single spontaneous idealist with the personalities of a Downton servant named Anna, a Greek god named Thor and a grouchy Muppet who lives in a trashcan.

Welcome to my identity crisis!

I have to say the “perpetually single” result was rough. Spot on, but rough.

The description went like this:

“Hey there, champ! Being single to you is like breathing or falling asleep — it’s second nature. You sort of have forgotten that the story of your love life is all ‘Me, Myself & I’ and just keep plugging away. Romance may one day be in the cards for you, but that seems like a vague and far-off destination.”

Sounds about right.

Of course, letting an Internet quiz define who I am or, far worse, predict my future would simply be asking for trouble. But though I read these results and laugh, something inside wonders what made me choose what I did. Does any of this indicate there’s something about me that is messed up? Am I perpetually single because my deep-down true self can’t help it?

Which wakes up that little voice inside that whispers, “There must be something wrong with you. You are, after all, 50 and still single.” Isn’t that the fear so many of us have? Especially those of us who don’t date much.

But here’s the thing: If I start defining myself based on silly random quizzes or baseless comments or even my own insecurities, I’ll always be disappointed. Because the question shouldn’t be “Who am I?” but “Who does God say I am?”

It’s hard to suppress that little voice. I know. A woman can’t find herself in her fifties and not ask why she hasn’t been chosen yet. That’s why we need to focus on who we are in Christ.

God rescued me because He delighted in me (Psalm 18:19). He has searched my heart and knows exactly who I am and He loves me still. Me — a perpetually single spontaneous idealist with big fears and even bigger dreams.

So . . . who does God say you are?