There are days, more often than not, when I find this hard to believe. I have never been the girl that turned the guys’ heads. I have never been the prettiest girl in the room, the skinniest girl in the room, the smartest girl in the room, the only one someone sees. Most of the time I just feel like I’m invisible. Maybe you can relate.
It’s not about outward beauty. I know that inside, outside, backwards and forwards.
I am a child of God and I am beautiful in His eyes. I know that right side up, upside down, and sideways.
But we live in a world where, if we are single, the world tells us that there is something wrong with us. What is it that people don’t like about you? What’s wrong with you? The girl with the foot fungus and hipster glasses is married – why aren’t you? Are people scared away by your disease? You do know you’re not going to stay young forever, right? Do you want a family? Why aren’t you good enough for anyone?
We live in a world where to be accepted you have to be beautiful, skinny, athletic, popular, and genius – or at least two of the above. We live in a culture that encourages girls to dress in the least amount of clothing possible and to be as skinny as possible. We live in a world that worships outer beauty, and if you’re not beautiful or pretty or even average, you’re not good enough and you’re not worth it.
Perhaps, like me, you have believed these lies.
Perhaps, like me, you have listened to the shouts of the world rather than the whispered truth of Christ.
You have been chosen by the God of the Universe as His vessel of peace, love, mercy and grace in this world. You have been loved with an everlasting love by a God who died to know you. You have been beautifully and wonderfully made, by a God who knows every hair on your head and every breath you take. You are clothed in strength and dignity.
When you look in the mirror in the morning, what do you see? Do you see a child of God, loved beyond measure, beautiful in His eyes? Or do you see a woman, bruised and battered by this world, putting mascara on to cover up the pain? Do you see a strong, confident, dignified woman of God? Or do you see the face of one who has doubted her very worth more times than she can count? Do you see a beautifully and wonderfully made woman, chosen and equipped by none other than God himself? Or do you see an imperfect, broken, shell of a woman, trying just to get through another day?
When I look in the mirror, I don’t see myself as God sees me: chosen, beautiful, loved, beautifully and wonderfully made, clothed in strength and dignity. Through the cracks in my mirror, I see the brokenness, the imperfections, the struggles, the sickness, the sin. So how do I see myself as God sees me, in a broken and cracked mirror?
I ask God to change what I see, and to fix the mirror.
As He removes the cracks in our mirrors, it becomes easier for us to see the truth of His Word: that you have been chosen by Him, even if you’ve never been chosen by men. That you are loved, by the God of this Universe, and that He chose to die for you – He loved you that much, more than you could ever know. That you are beautifully and wonderfully made. He knows every hair on your head, every day of your life before it even comes to be. That you are clothed in strength and dignity in Him, and that can never be taken away from you.
And, yes, that you are beautiful, even when you can’t see that you are.
Kristen Entwistle is a graduate student pursuing her PhD in biochemistry and molecular biology at Michigan State University. After graduating with her PhD, Kristen hopes to teach biochemistry at a small liberal arts college. A member of Red Cedar Evangelical Free Church, she helps to lead worship on Sunday mornings and leads a women’s Bible study on Saturday mornings. She was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when she was three months old, and has seen God work through the ups and downs of life and through her disease. Kristen enjoys reading, swimming, running, crocheting, and writing in her spare time.
Connect with Kristen online: SwimmingForHim.wordpress.com