As I sit here and observe all of the unique personalities that all of my children have, I must say that the only way that I am able to minister to each one of them individually is by spending time with the Lord.
Let me give you a little bit of a back drop. I am originally from Trinidad, but I grew up in New York City, and when I met my husband he had three children and I had two children. His mom was my baby sitter when I moved to New York at the tender age of 12 yrs old. He was four years older than me, but interestingly he never talked to me – he was a very shy guy. His sister and I were closer in age and I remember telling her that I thought that her brother was so cute.
Fast forward 18 years: our mothers remained friends all those years and life happened. I had a failed marriage and was a single mother of two little girls and my husband was also divorced and had two daughters and one son. My mother would say to his mom in conversation that all I did was go to work and go to church and take care of my daughters and his mother would say that he did the same thing as well so they decided, “Let’s set them up on a date!”
We spoke to each other on the phone January 4th,2006. We saw each other February 4th, (when I lived in New York City and he lived in Pennsylvania) so I traveled to Pennsylvania for our first day – it was incredible! And then we got married March 18th.
We courted 10 weeks and it was the best day of my life. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember the first time I met his children, I immediately fell in love with them and I was so impressed with how my husband was as a father – he was so organized and he was a man of order and structure and he was a person that took great pride in being a dad and it showed. I enjoyed observing his interaction with the children and the way they listened and responded to him.
On the other hand, I did not have all that structure. I was more of a cool, fun mom that was trying to overcompensate for everything that my kids did not have in their lives. That became a very hard lesson to learn as the years went by. As we continued in this journey called parenting, it was a process from going from a cool, carefree mom to a consistent mom with structure, boundaries, and to be able to follow through with whatever I told them.
Isn’t that what God dos? Follow through on His Word and His discipline in order to teach us valuable lessons, that in the long run will be for our own good. But I have to be honest, it does not always feel good to be stretched in that way.
Today I am honored to say that two of our eight children have graduated from high school this past May and we currently have a 12th grader, 11th grader, 10th grader and 2nd grader and 1st grader and a kindergartener. The time does go by very fast and if I can leave you with this encouragement, I would say pray for your children, make time to laugh and make memories. I would also say make time for your spouse as well.
Vonetta Carter is a proud wife and mother of 8 children. She works alongside her husband Pastor Veronne who is the Senior Pastor at First Wesleyan Church in Nashville, TN. She also serves as a intercessor, mentor, motivational speaker and encourager, PTO President, and the leader of the women’s ministry at her church. She has the privilege to minister to women from all different walks of life.
Vonetta believes that God wants women to be whole in every area of their life, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. She is a strong believer in the power of prayer and that prayer will be the engine to drive any church or ministry.
In her own words: My hearts breaks for women and I believe in coming alongside them and believing God with them that at the end of the day we will all be lovingly challenged to come up higher as it pertains to the things of God. And I whole heartily believe that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think. He also said in his word no good thing would he with hold from them that love him.
Connect with Vonetta online: