Sometimes people think that I’ve got it all together.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.

In reality, I’m falling apart. 
I’m insecure. 
I’m afraid.
I’m quick to speak.
I’m slow to listen.
I’m quick to become angry.
I’m barely holding it together. 

I see others around me –  preaching the Gospel in far off countries, boldly standing up for Truth in the streets and in churches, giving up the comforts of home to serve in the military, changing their whole lives just for the sake of the Gospel of Christ.

And here I am, a measly college chemistry professor who, at best, holds it together maybe 8 hours a day.  Like I said, I don’t have it all together.

I’m not bold. 

I hear all of the bold stories of the Biblical men and women who suffered for the Gospel, who boldly went before corrupt Kings and wicked Queens, who were sawed in two for the sake of the Gospel, and then I hear all of the stories of bold men and women like Pope Francis and Mother Theresa and Billy Graham and so many more…and I’m struck with how unlike them I am.

I guess I see boldness as big, grand gestures. 

National news-worthy stories.  Huge rallies and loud speakers.  A bold person is one who brings thousands to Christ in a single evening.  A man who runs into a burning building to save a little girl.  The cop who stands up for what He believes in.

But maybe boldness is more than that. 

Maybe boldness is those simple, unrecognized acts of kindness and mercy.  Maybe boldness shows in how we live, in the choices we make, and in the things we say.  Maybe boldness is buying a cup of coffee for the stranger on the street.  Praying silently for the girl in the back row who isn’t speaking to anyone.  Talking about God’s handiwork in chemistry class.

Maybe I’m bolder than I think.  Maybe I need to redefine boldness.  God’s still working in me and through me in every step I take.  No matter how small I think that step is.

God, increase my boldness in these everyday steps, the seemingly insignificant acts of kindness and mercy that I show to others.  And in all I do, may the world see You.